Geology word Twist and Puns

[AJE]

Hello all feel free to summit your thoughts about any sort of Geology/Geography/Conservation/Ecology/Meteorology.
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Geology word plays
Several short geology plays on words

Okay, if you are a real geologist, you probably enjoy transferring geology vocabulary into everyday situations. For example, if you agree with what someone has said, you may say, You breccia! or My sediments exactly!

And if you are not pleased with the person's statement, you may resort to the old:

That's not gneiss!
:wink:

[AJE]

Did you Know: The continents names all end with the same letter with which they start.

[AJE]

Drizzle: what the meteorologists told Noah to expect.

[AJE]

TOTAL IMMERSION GEOLOGISTS

Total immersion geologists: Are you totally obsessed with geology? If so, then you are a total immersion geologist. Here are the ten warning signs:

1) You judge a restaurant by the type of decorative building stone they use rather than their food.

2) You manage to turn any conversation into a discussion of geology, as in:
"What did you think of that Superbowl game last night?"
"I must have missed that conference. Who sponsored it? Geological Society of America?"

3) The only thing you notice about attractive members of the opposite sex is the stone in their jewelry.

4) You refuse to let nightfall stop your field excursions and continue looking at the outcrops using the headlights of your field vehicle.

5) You like rock music only because it's called "rock" music.

6) You will try to claw through the water flowing in a stream to get a better look at the bedrock at the base of the channel.

7) You will walk across eight lanes of freeway traffic to see if the outcrop on the other side of the highway is the same type of rock as the side you're parked on.

8) You name your children after rocks and minerals.

9) You're not sure if you have children.

10) You view non-geologists as subhuman.

[AJE]

REAL ANSWERS FROM EARTH SCIENCE EXAMS

:arrow: The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants.
Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic.

:arrow: The main problem associated with limestone aquifers is Lyme disease.

:arrow: We don't have rock salt on Guam because that forms from from evaporation of oceans and we don't have oceans on Guam.

:arrow: Erie, Pennsylvania has no volcanoes because it's too cold there.

:arrow: The most important agent of landscape formation on Guam is greyhounds - they are intelligent.

:arrow: We know that the sun is much farther away from us than the moon is, because we can see stars between us and the sun, but not between us and the moon.

:arrow: The rear end of a trilobite is called a trilobutt.

[AJE]

Two Geologists are walking across a granite outcrop one day. The first says
to the second "Hey, this terrain is unmetamorphosed". Replies the second
one, "No Schist".

[AJE]

Q: What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
:arrow: A: Coca-Cola Clastic

People at parties will *not* get these jokes.

Thats ok, because "Igneous is bliss"

Let's not forget Sherlock Holmes:

:arrow: Watson: Holmes! What kind of rock is this!

:arrow: Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.

Those are not gneiss jokes.




Ah, jokes for the "rock-it" scientists.

In keeping with the spirit of layoffs and downsizing that permiate the oil
industry I might add: How many petroleum geologists does it take to screw
in a lightbulb?

Just one, but hundreds will apply for the job.

Yes, but at least we didn't take these "gneiss" jokes for "granite."



(Sorry about the Sexual Pun)
:arrow: How about some slogans:

Geologists enjoy Nappes between thrusts!

Ease up! It's nodody's fault!