Wisconsin Official Redneck award for the day! - Page 2

ONEZ48 · 08-02-2007, 01:26 PM

Add Alcohol to the mix and what do you get...instant a**hole.
I have seen it first hand. LOL Drugs are bad! mmmkay.

**MrKhay** · 08-15-2007, 04:53 PM

This one comes out of California, where they're still learning about cows, dairying,and having a brain.
(California) A dairy worker who heard that bovine flatulence was largely composed of methane, and potentially explosive, decided to apply the scientific method to the theory. While one of his contented cow charges was hooked up to the milking machine, he waited for the slight tail lift which dairy workers know signals an impending expulsion, generally something to avoid. Our hero struck a match. His satisfaction at seeing the resulting foot-long blue flame lasted mere seconds, before the flame was subsumed by a rectal contraction. The poor Holstein exploded, killing the worker who was struck by a flying femur bone.

pk · 08-15-2007, 05:22 PM

Quote:

17 February 2004, Wisconsin) Just as squirrels bury their acorns to protect them from predators for later use, a man from Howard put his ammunition and three handguns in a safe place before he and his wife departed on vacation. He wanted to be sure they would be there when the couple returned. But just as squirrels frequently forget where they buried a particular acorn, the man forgot that his hiding place was the oven. When they returned from their trip, his wife turned on the oven to prepare dinner. Shortly afterward the couple had to duck behind the refrigerator as the bullets began to explode like popcorn. The husband used a fire extinguisher to put out the fire the bullets started in the oven. No humans were hurt, but the prognosis for the oven was grim.

I don't know how I missed this one since I try to read most of the comments...this is too funny! lol lol

I have to admit a few times if I am in a huge hurry to clean up the dishes and did not have time to wash a pan or two, I will put them in the oven to catch the next time I wash dishes...and of course I will forget and turn the oven on and start smelling food or grease heating up! lol But nothing like this story!

ONEZ48 · 08-15-2007, 05:37 PM

8O What a dork!

**MrKhay** · 08-15-2007, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrKhay

This one comes out of California, where they're still learning about cows, dairying,and having a brain.
(California) A dairy worker who heard that bovine flatulence was largely composed of methane, and potentially explosive, decided to apply the scientific method to the theory. While one of his contented cow charges was hooked up to the milking machine, he waited for the slight tail lift which dairy workers know signals an impending expulsion, generally something to avoid. Our hero struck a match. His satisfaction at seeing the resulting foot-long blue flame lasted mere seconds, before the flame was subsumed by a rectal contraction. The poor Holstein exploded, killing the worker who was struck by a flying femur bone.

Let this be a lesson to all the youngsters out there, lighting cow farts will get you killed.

kmfarm · 08-15-2007, 07:47 PM

Frickin' California.

Mark

**j10asen** · 08-15-2007, 11:14 PM

Holy Cow what a story.
I guess that cow met it's match!!!
I wonder if it went cowboom?
I can see the head line
"Methane explosion debones cow and kills farmer"

I guess the cow finally had a leg up on the farmer!!!

so the cow didn't jump but rocketed over the moon!!!

pk · 08-16-2007, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Holy Cow what a story.
I guess that cow met it's match!!!
I wonder if it went cowboom?
I can see the head line
"Methane explosion debones cow and kills farmer"

I guess the cow finally had a leg up on the farmer!!!

so the cow didn't jump but rocketed over the moon!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Where does this all come from?? Do you sit and think for awhile or does it just 'flow' out of you? lol

**j10asen** · 08-16-2007, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pk

Quote:

Holy Cow what a story.
I guess that cow met it's match!!!
I wonder if it went cowboom?
I can see the head line
"Methane explosion debones cow and kills farmer"

I guess the cow finally had a leg up on the farmer!!!

so the cow didn't jump but rocketed over the moon!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Where does this all come from?? Do you sit and think for awhile or does it just 'flow' out of you? lol

I am glad you laughed pk
The first line hit me as I read the story and as each line was typed another came out I just stoped typing when the thoughts stopped comming. The empty lines are a quick breather LOL

honest sometimes the thoughts come quicker than I can type them and then I forget them before I can type them.

pk · 08-16-2007, 09:33 PM

Quote:

sometimes the thoughts come quicker than I can type them and then I forget them before I can type them

kinda like how I talk sometimes! lol Words are flying around my mind but I forget them before I can get them out my mouth! lol (jk)

**CarolsCritterCare** · 08-22-2007, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ONEZ48

Add Alcohol to the mix and what do you get...instant a**hole.
I have seen it first hand. LOL Drugs are bad! mmmkay.

Yup, Yup Yup.......totally agree
Carol

**CarolsCritterCare** · 08-22-2007, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrKhay

This one comes out of California, where they're still learning about cows, dairying,and having a brain.
(California) A dairy worker who heard that bovine flatulence was largely composed of methane, and potentially explosive, decided to apply the scientific method to the theory. While one of his contented cow charges was hooked up to the milking machine, he waited for the slight tail lift which dairy workers know signals an impending expulsion, generally something to avoid. Our hero struck a match. His satisfaction at seeing the resulting foot-long blue flame lasted mere seconds, before the flame was subsumed by a rectal contraction. The poor Holstein exploded, killing the worker who was struck by a flying femur bone.

OMG!! You have got to be kidding me.......this is just unreal.
What an idiot!
"Happy cows come from California" I think not
Carol

**CarolsCritterCare** · 08-22-2007, 12:38 PM

Quote:

17 February 2004, Wisconsin) Just as squirrels bury their acorns to protect them from predators for later use, a man from Howard put his ammunition and three handguns in a safe place before he and his wife departed on vacation. He wanted to be sure they would be there when the couple returned. But just as squirrels frequently forget where they buried a particular acorn, the man forgot that his hiding place was the oven. When they returned from their trip, his wife turned on the oven to prepare dinner. Shortly afterward the couple had to duck behind the refrigerator as the bullets began to explode like popcorn. The husband used a fire extinguisher to put out the fire the bullets started in the oven. No humans were hurt, but the prognosis for the oven was grim.

:lol: This is way too funny!! I can just picture these people ducking for cover as the bullets fired.
Glad no one was hurt!
Carol