This one comes out of California, where they're still learning about cows, dairying,and having a brain.
(California) A dairy worker who heard that bovine flatulence was largely composed of methane, and potentially explosive, decided to apply the scientific method to the theory. While one of his contented cow charges was hooked up to the milking machine, he waited for the slight tail lift which dairy workers know signals an impending expulsion, generally something to avoid. Our hero struck a match. His satisfaction at seeing the resulting foot-long blue flame lasted mere seconds, before the flame was subsumed by a rectal contraction. The poor Holstein exploded, killing the worker who was struck by a flying femur bone.
17 February 2004, Wisconsin) Just as squirrels bury their acorns to protect them from predators for later use, a man from Howard put his ammunition and three handguns in a safe place before he and his wife departed on vacation. He wanted to be sure they would be there when the couple returned. But just as squirrels frequently forget where they buried a particular acorn, the man forgot that his hiding place was the oven. When they returned from their trip, his wife turned on the oven to prepare dinner. Shortly afterward the couple had to duck behind the refrigerator as the bullets began to explode like popcorn. The husband used a fire extinguisher to put out the fire the bullets started in the oven. No humans were hurt, but the prognosis for the oven was grim.
I don't know how I missed this one since I try to read most of the comments...this is too funny! lol lol
I have to admit a few times if I am in a huge hurry to clean up the dishes and did not have time to wash a pan or two, I will put them in the oven to catch the next time I wash dishes...and of course I will forget and turn the oven on and start smelling food or grease heating up! lol But nothing like this story!
This one comes out of California, where they're still learning about cows, dairying,and having a brain.
(California) A dairy worker who heard that bovine flatulence was largely composed of methane, and potentially explosive, decided to apply the scientific method to the theory. While one of his contented cow charges was hooked up to the milking machine, he waited for the slight tail lift which dairy workers know signals an impending expulsion, generally something to avoid. Our hero struck a match. His satisfaction at seeing the resulting foot-long blue flame lasted mere seconds, before the flame was subsumed by a rectal contraction. The poor Holstein exploded, killing the worker who was struck by a flying femur bone.
Let this be a lesson to all the youngsters out there, lighting cow farts will get you killed.
Holy Cow what a story.
I guess that cow met it's match!!!
I wonder if it went cowboom?
I can see the head line
"Methane explosion debones cow and kills farmer"
I guess the cow finally had a leg up on the farmer!!!
so the cow didn't jump but rocketed over the moon!!!
Holy Cow what a story.
I guess that cow met it's match!!!
I wonder if it went cowboom?
I can see the head line
"Methane explosion debones cow and kills farmer"
I guess the cow finally had a leg up on the farmer!!!
so the cow didn't jump but rocketed over the moon!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Where does this all come from?? Do you sit and think for awhile or does it just 'flow' out of you? lol
Holy Cow what a story.
I guess that cow met it's match!!!
I wonder if it went cowboom?
I can see the head line
"Methane explosion debones cow and kills farmer"
I guess the cow finally had a leg up on the farmer!!!
so the cow didn't jump but rocketed over the moon!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Where does this all come from?? Do you sit and think for awhile or does it just 'flow' out of you? lol
I am glad you laughed pk
The first line hit me as I read the story and as each line was typed another came out I just stoped typing when the thoughts stopped comming. The empty lines are a quick breather LOL
honest sometimes the thoughts come quicker than I can type them and then I forget them before I can type them.
This one comes out of California, where they're still learning about cows, dairying,and having a brain.
(California) A dairy worker who heard that bovine flatulence was largely composed of methane, and potentially explosive, decided to apply the scientific method to the theory. While one of his contented cow charges was hooked up to the milking machine, he waited for the slight tail lift which dairy workers know signals an impending expulsion, generally something to avoid. Our hero struck a match. His satisfaction at seeing the resulting foot-long blue flame lasted mere seconds, before the flame was subsumed by a rectal contraction. The poor Holstein exploded, killing the worker who was struck by a flying femur bone.
OMG!! You have got to be kidding me.......this is just unreal.
What an idiot!
"Happy cows come from California" I think not
Carol
17 February 2004, Wisconsin) Just as squirrels bury their acorns to protect them from predators for later use, a man from Howard put his ammunition and three handguns in a safe place before he and his wife departed on vacation. He wanted to be sure they would be there when the couple returned. But just as squirrels frequently forget where they buried a particular acorn, the man forgot that his hiding place was the oven. When they returned from their trip, his wife turned on the oven to prepare dinner. Shortly afterward the couple had to duck behind the refrigerator as the bullets began to explode like popcorn. The husband used a fire extinguisher to put out the fire the bullets started in the oven. No humans were hurt, but the prognosis for the oven was grim.
:lol: This is way too funny!! I can just picture these people ducking for cover as the bullets fired.
Glad no one was hurt!
Carol
(29 April 2004, Brushy Fork, West Virginia) Alfred, 63, had trouble with termites at home. He had heard that natural gas was dangerous, and figured it would be a good, low-cost way to fumigate his house. So he shut the doors and windows, turned on the gas, and spent the night in a nearby camper trailer with his wife. The next morning he stepped out of the trailer, took a breath of the crisp, cool air, and strode over to his house.
When he opened the door, the slight spark from the latch ignited the cloud of natural gas that had accumulated in his home. The force of the explosion blew him off the porch and into a nearby creek, knocked out the town's telephones and electricity, and blew the doors off a church. It rattled windows and nerves six miles away.
Alfred was evacuated by helicopter with severe burns to the burn unit at the Cabell-Huntington Hospital. His house was uninsured. It is presumed that the fumigation was effective.
(30 July 2004, Georgia) A Walker County man's pants exploded while he was filling out forms for Social Service workers in front of his home.
Daniel, 39, was hard at work in his laboratory when uninvited guests knocked on the door. Because his work was rather secret, he poured two of the chemicals, red phosphorus and iodine, into an empty film cannister and stuffed it in his pocket before going out to greet his visitors. It was two social workers bearing forms, and Daniel walked them out to their car, sat in the back seat and began writing.
"He kept fiddling with his front right pants pocket," said the commander of the Drug Task Force. The film cannister was probably feeling warm as the red phosphorus and iodine began to react. These chemicals are key ingredients in the making of methamphetamine. What Daniel apparently did not know was that the now-boiling mixture of red phosphorus and iodine would soon reach 278 degrees Fahrenheit.
"All of a sudden, a loud bang happened, and fire shot from his pocket. It damaged the inside of the state vehicle." Daniel suffered second and third-degree burns to his testicles and leg. He was rushed to a Medical Center in Chattanooga, Tennessee, before being hauled off to jail. Sheriff's deputies raided the house and discovered his meth lab. He was charged with manufacture and possession of illegal drugs.
"That was one for the books," said a Walker County sheriff's spokesperson. "I've been in this business for more than 35 years, and that's a first.
(30 July 2004, Georgia) A Walker County man's pants exploded while he was filling out forms for Social Service workers in front of his home.
Daniel, 39, was hard at work in his laboratory when uninvited guests knocked on the door. Because his work was rather secret, he poured two of the chemicals, red phosphorus and iodine, into an empty film cannister and stuffed it in his pocket before going out to greet his visitors. It was two social workers bearing forms, and Daniel walked them out to their car, sat in the back seat and began writing.
"He kept fiddling with his front right pants pocket," said the commander of the Drug Task Force. The film cannister was probably feeling warm as the red phosphorus and iodine began to react. These chemicals are key ingredients in the making of methamphetamine. What Daniel apparently did not know was that the now-boiling mixture of red phosphorus and iodine would soon reach 278 degrees Fahrenheit.
"All of a sudden, a loud bang happened, and fire shot from his pocket. It damaged the inside of the state vehicle." Daniel suffered second and third-degree burns to his testicles and leg. He was rushed to a Medical Center in Chattanooga, Tennessee, before being hauled off to jail. Sheriff's deputies raided the house and discovered his meth lab. He was charged with manufacture and possession of illegal drugs.
"That was one for the books," said a Walker County sheriff's spokesperson. "I've been in this business for more than 35 years, and that's a first.
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