Bullying in schools. what do you think???

[jenny84]

Hey everyone my name is Jenny. I am a new member to thebubbler. I am a stay at home mother of two with one more due in January. I didnt have a good school expirience. I was the redheaded kid in the class who was really pale and way too tall, who didnt have the namebrand shoes and clothes. So i got bullied. I watch the news often and see these children bringing guns to school with the intensions of standing up to the person or persons who bullied them. This is scary. What can we do to stop bullying? I think there should be some type of suspension or hall moderators who can help stop this so our kids can be safe. Maybe even a fine??? what do you think???

[Crys]

I was in a similar position in school. I was the hippy kid who wore glasses from middle school on and who always blew the curve. When you set a record for the school ACT scores or bring home the only 1st place in the Business Olympics for the school, it may win you scholarships but rarely will it win you friends. I moved around alot, so every six months or so, I'd have to deal with a new group of bullies and start all over with teaching them to leave me alone.

People say that school is not like being in the "real world" but in a lot of ways, it is... including dealing with people. There will always be someone out there who needs to make themself bigger by throwing their weight around; that doesn't stop when you leave school.

My father always told me "Never throw the first punch, but make sure you ALWAYS throw the last one." That doesn't have to mean physical punches. I think of all the advice I ever received, that's got to be some of the most useful. When you stand up for yourself, the bullies will think twice before they pick on you again. The best remedy for bullying is for parents to teach their children determination, perseverence, and a little self-respect (fostering a quick wit doesn't hurt).

The fact is, the more we treat our kids like criminals, the more like criminals they'll be. Putting metal detectors and security guards in our schools has to be done with a delicacy that I have yet to see. Otherwise, you foster a hatred for authority and a greater desire to strike out.

[Kris10]

When I was in high school just ten years ago, most bullying seemed to go unnoticed. Unfortunately, schools don't have much power when it comes to bullying. Kids get a detention or suspension and they're back in school to bully again. Explusion is just a form of permanent vacation.

As much as we'd like to think putting thousands of kids from different background into one local school creates diversity, it seems to foster more segregation than anything. Why not take segregation into a positive direction with more learning venues like The Harvey Milk High School? Kids naturally band together in cliques to be with peers that share their own interests, so why not organize schools to target kids of similar backgrounds and goals?

And, to Crys and Jenny... oh, how I envy your red hair!

[AJE]

Believe it or not I too know the oppression felt as a result of childhood bullies. My family was an outsider to the Valders community where my father took a job as a US History teacher at VHS. Everyone was in some form related, so they cliqued together. From K-12 my sister and I underwent a grueling schooling career. At one point we were begging our parents to be educated through Home Schooling. :cry: For 12 years we hated our classmates except for a few loyal friends, then the day we had been waiting for so long happened...Graduation. I remember it like yesterday...while everyone was crying, my sister and I were laughing. We were FREE of bullies. :P

Many years later after going through college and a working career I have learned some will grow up, but a lot won't change. Even today I can easily pick out the ones whom will bully to their advantage. Although, I now am a stronger person I have my own ways of dealing with these individuals. "Never throw the first punch, but make sure you ALWAYS throw the last one."... Crys I couldn't agree more.
:wink:

[AlumniClub]

I was the redheaded kid in the class who was really pale and way too tall,

"Sounds like deja vu for me."
RedRaven

Redheads rule!

[PatW]

Bullying...is parental responsibility. To all that have been bullied, by anyone, at anytime, must take notice & not let it continue. Too many good, kind, christian egos have been shattered by the "bullies" in school. Parents must create a kinder, gentler and giving person in their child.. it is the parent who is foregoing true parental responsibility.

[Judy]

Ever since psychiatry took over our school system in the 60's, school behavior is worse. All this by their own statistics. Removing ideas of right and wrong is their game.

The only thing I ever saw that worked for teaching kids not to bully and to have good manners is this program called "Way to Happiness" that is going into our public schools now more than ever.

It is a non religious moral code, totally ok for schools and everyone to learn manners, integrity and ethics from. There are classes for this in public schools that choose the program.
It is also being sent to war torn countries and areas of upset all over the world.

www.thewaytohappiness.org

[cherklop]

Bullying is a problem not only in schools, but also in the workplace. I've just watched a wonderful person systematically destroyed and fired because of an office bully.
:cry:
While looking into legislation against bullying in the workplace, I've discovered that Wisconsin HAD a anti (school) bullying bill (2005 SB 310). It has not passed. If you're serious about putting a stop to school bullies (who grow up to be bigger bullies) please contact your state rep and senator and ask them to support this bill and get anti-bully legislation through!

[Kris10]

Originally Posted by annandlarrycleanhomes

Wisconsin is horrible and hypocritical when they say "We Care for Kids" because if that was the case, they would never have started the "no fault divorce" law (which has since been adopted by all other states). That is not a kid friendly law.

Bullying simply comes from someone who is fearful themselves. My guess is that many times they are from a broken home or missing a good father figure to calm those fears and show him/her the proper way to relate to people.

Is it worth having a default father in the home if he beats his kids? While I didn't make a formal demographic study of the kids smacking me around, I know that most of my juevenile tormentors came from mother-and-father homes in my pristine suburban neighborhood. Who knows what went on behind closed doors.

I agree that parents need to take responsibility for their kids, whether those parents be moms, dads, grandparents, guardians or any combination of the above. I was fortunate to have a mom and dad at home to keep me in line, and backup discipline from grandma, grandpa or extended family if mom and dad were not home. Anyone can breed, but it takes a heckuva lot more to actually "parent." A lot of the "parenting" I received didn't always come from mom and dad.

[oneinthewoods]

:x

My God, what an interesting subject, as I can relate. I was bullied only in sixth grade as i can remember. However, I do have children who get bullied. My daughter as myelf, has only had it in the sixth grade, yet my son gets the brunt often and he is only six years old. He is chubby, and I have come to the point of teaching him to walk away, yet if he gets a hand put on him, to make sure he takes them down...
You made some sense about bullies in the workplace. Funny thing, I get it now more than ever. ( as an adult ). I found a web site which states that they get you if they feel you are better than them. I only work to make money and get the hell out of there afterward. I don't like to make aquaintances for my personal life, and keep my nose to the grind stone while I am there. I still get the sh*t end of the stick now and then by some sorry excuse that got put on payroll. I deal with it and after a few months they move on to someone else. I guess I bore them with honey rather than vinegar......
I think we waste alot of education time in school with beginning at kindergarten, to take a 45 minute session out of each day and to teach a new subject such as stress reduction or anger release....as this would be way more beneficial than most extra classes they teach now. It should continue throughout a childs' lifetime schooling....not that the parent is putting the repsonsibilty in a teacher's hands....it is this very subject that would endure in a lifetime...and some parents are just not skilled at stress reduction skills, so how is a child to learn it? If it were taught in schools from a young age, that is one subject that would carry weight through years.
My two cents.

[Judy]

My oldest son was constantly bullied in grade school. It was making him physically ill. I was telling him all along, "Be nice to others, treat them as you would be treated... " etc. He would come home from school crying about one kid who targeted him, picked on him constantly.

When my son was about 8 years old, I told him for godsakes, it's time to beat the kid up, end it already! I told him don't hurt the kid too bad but if anything happened from it I would cover for him and make sure it was off the school grounds. So, the next time the kid tormented him, he pummeled him and it changed his whole attitude. He liked school and had confidence in himself, and that kid turned out to be a pretty nice boy and his best friend later on. They are still friends at age 27.

By the way, I raised 3 fine sons who are excellent communicators - that was the key to their success in school. They understood people pretty well and learned how to prevent fights with the right words but never backed down if someone challenged them.

I would never advocate bullying but I think challenging each other is just part of growing up and parents sometimes let their own fears fuel the problem of their kids. Especially with the victim and "disease" mentality that is pushed on to our society today.

In any other culture, neighbors, friends and teachers correct kids no matter whose they are. Good manners are taught at a young age, by the parents actions not their words or expecting teachers to do it. If right and wrong had not been removed from our schools ethics and integrity would return.

[CarGuy]

When my son was about 8 years old, I told him for godsakes, it's time to beat the kid up, end it already! I told him don't hurt the kid too bad but if anything happened from it I would cover for him and make sure it was off the school grounds. So, the next time the kid tormented him, he pummeled him and it changed his whole attitude. He liked school and had confidence in himself, and that kid turned out to be a pretty nice boy and his best friend later on. They are still friends at age 27.

By the way, I raised 3 fine sons who are excellent communicators - that was the key to their success in school. They understood people pretty well and learned how to prevent fights with the right words but never backed down if someone challenged them.

This is kind of a funny little subject. I can relate a little bit to this conversation. I grew up in a tiny little town called Amherst Wi. I moved there in the 5th grade. Truthfully I think that I was the only person in my class that hadn't been born and raised there. Naturally they clicked together. My father was a boxer that taught me from day one that you NEVER start a fight, and that the smarter person was always the one that tries to end the situation with out throwing fists.....BUT, when it comes right down to it and you can't avoid it (fists can be wit, like crys said earlier, or other forms of jabs too ) NEVER back down. All that does is give the bully a fase sense of confidence and her will chase you. If you stand your ground the first thing that other person is thinking is "hey, I don't scare this person", and you put them on their heels a little. If you get in their face a little 9 times out of 10 they will back down. I don't care if it is an office bully or a School bully.

Unfortunatly not everyone is privy to the type of training that I had, But I have got to say it is inexpensive to teach, and gives the trainee all kinds of confidence that maybe they wouldn't have had without it. There are all kinds of self defense classes out there.... and they are cheap. As an Adult I think that they may help our expanding waistlines as well. You would be suprised how many conflicts you can talk your way out of when you think that there is now way this other person can beat you.

Our society tells us to turn the other cheek these days, but sometimes a good ole dose of whoop a** is in order for the dopey ol bullies out there. :wink:

[imkaydee]

The first, most enduring responsibility of any society is to ensure the health and well being of its children. Every citizen must assume a measure of responsibility for helping to reduce and prevent youth violence. Information is a powerful tool. Intervention strategies exist today that can be tailored to meet the needs of youth at every stage of development, from young childhood to late adolescence.

I hope that our school administrators and community leaders as well as parents, students, teachers and bus drivers will be able to use this information as a starting palace, to help stop the bullying and violence in our schools.

Bullying is not a rite of passage that must be endured. Bullying is a key health and safety issue that can be a critical barrier to student success. Parents and educators need to work together to ensure quality education for every child. We must not tolerate bullying in our schools. Bullying is a behavior that our schools must address because it harms victims, bystanders, and the bullies themselves.

Bullying has a detrimental effect on all students. It negatively impacts the social, physical, psychological, and academic atmosphere of our schools. It interferes with students’ connections with school, their engagement with the curriculum, and their overall ability to learn. Bullying prevention is critical to building a school environment that supports academic achievement and makes students feel safe at all times.

Research from the Secret Service and the U.S. Department of Education on 37 school shootings, including Columbine, found that almost three-quarters of student shooters felt bullied, threatened, attacked or injured by others. In fact, several shooters reported experiencing long-term and severe bullying and harassment from their peers. Therefore, it is extreme negligence, for a school to not assist students in conflict resolution regarding bullying and violence.

The most effective strategies to stop bullying involve the entire school as a community to change the climate of the school and the norms of behavior. In order to accomplish this, input is needed from educators, parents, students, health and mental health professionals and the community.

Many psychologists agree that to have an effective bullying-prevention and intervention program, they need to understand that a child's tendency toward bullying is influenced by individual, familial and environmental factors. Many principals are looking at alternatives to having children sit in rooms by themselves as punishment for misbehaving. This form of detention removes the student from the learning process and doesn't address the root of the behavior that landed him in detention in the first place. A more productive approach is to have the troublemaker see a counselor.

Programs that teach conflict resolution, anti-bullying, anger management and emotional intelligence will fundamentally improve school safety. There should be no tolerance for serious infractions, but there should be a range of interventions available for behavior problems. A young person needs to learn how to use social-skills to respond to difficult situations rather than an aggressive response. When a student experiences some success using these skills approaches to deal with conflict, the student usually becomes motivated to learn more.

The above is an adaptation from the 2002 American Psychological Association.

The best way to combat bullying is having a school community where the message is clear: Bullying simply is not tolerated. Teachers, students and administrators are all very aware of the policy. If an incident occurs, the teachers respond immediately. The students know that the behavior is unacceptable, that there are trusted adults they can confide in and that there will be consequences that bring resolution. Comprehensive school and community-based interventions hold the greatest potential for preventing bullying and violence. Programs involving family, school, and community are most effective in minimizing factors that contribute to serious violence.

K12 Associates in Madison, Wis., have surveyed and continue to study 20,000 public school students- as well as teachers, parents and administrators- on issues including the prevalence and incidence of bullying, teasing, locations of bullying, school climate and respect for diversity. After survey data are entered and analyzed, reports are given to individual schools so that they can design prevention and intervention programs based on their own data.

President Clinton, in response to a school shooting, asked the government to produce a guide for schools and parents on how to prevent school violence. As a result, two comprehensive guides were published:

Early Warning, Timely Response: A Guide to Safe Schools http://www.ed.gov/about/offices/list...tss.html?exp=0

Safeguarding Our Children: An Action Guide http://www.ed.gov/admins/lead/safety...ide/index.html this guide emphasizes early intervention and prevention, and the importance of teamwork among educators, mental health professionals, parents, and students. According to this publication, a safe school will have three major components:

· A school-wide foundation for the well-being and success of all students
· A system for identifying students with acute behavior problems
· A system for providing interventions and therapies for at-risk students

Below are some of the warning signs that a student may pose a threat. If you observe any of these indicators in a student, it is recommended that you report your concerns to school staff. Helping the child, and the entire school community, should be the paramou