Packer Humor

[AJE]

The Wall


Three guys, a Dallas fan, a Packer fan, and a Viking fan are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Dallas Fan says, "I am a farmer, my Dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Texas."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'FOOM' the land in Texas was forever made fertile for farming.

The Viking Fan was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Minnesota so that no infidels, Bear Fans, or Packer Fans, can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF', there was a huge wall around Minnesota.

Izzy, the Wisconsinite asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state; nothing can get in or out."

Izzy says, "Fill it up with water."

[AJE]

Ice Fishing Contest

The Vikings challenged the Packers to an ice-fishing contest. When it came time for the catch weigh-in, the Packers had 100 lbs. of fish, and the Vikings had zero. The Vikings demanded a rematch for the next Saturday.

This time the Packers came in with 200 lbs. of fish, and the Vikings had zero. The Vikings decided the Packers must be cheating so they demanded another rematch, and sent a spy dressed in green and gold to check it out.

This time the Packers came in with 300 lbs., and the Vikings still had zero. So, the Vikings asked their spy if the Packers were cheating.

"Hell yes, they were cheating! They were drilling holes in the ice!"

[AJE]

The Funeral

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front.

He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.

The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead."

The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to and enjoy the game together.

"Oh no," the guy said, "they're all at the funeral."

[AJE]

A Packer Fan in Heaven

A devout Packer fan died and had just arrived in heaven (that's where all Packer fans go, you know). He was talking to an angel trying to get the lowdown on what heaven was going to be like. He asked the angel if there were any former packers in heaven.

The angel replied, "Sure, all the greats are here."

He then asked the angel if they played football and the angel replied that in heaven, every day is Packer Sunday and the Pack always wins.

Being very excited the fan asked if Vince Lombardi was there and as he asked, he saw a man with dark rimmed glasses, a heavy overcoat, and a cap that looked strangely like the one Vince Lombardi wore in the Ice Bowl.

When asked excitedly if that was him, if that was Vincent T. Lombardi, the angel replied, "No, that was God. He likes to act like he's Lombardi."

[AJE]

The Dog

A man walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. He noted a dog intently watching a Packers - Bears game.

Whenever the Packers scored, the dog would jump onto the bar and do an animated dance. This happened over and over as the Packers scored again and again. At the end of the game the dog let out a loud howl and ran out of the bar.

The man thought this was pretty unusual and asked the bartender, "Gee that's amazing. What happens when the Bears win?"

The bartender replied "I don't know, the dog's only 4 years old."

[AJE]

What about Iowa?

Q: Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team?

A: Because Minnesota would want one too.

[AJE]

Well, Packer fans it's that time of year again.

Q: Why do the trees in Wisconsin lean to the south?

A: Because Minnesota blows and Chicago sucks.

Q: What is the difference between a Bear fan and a baby?

A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: What do you call a male Viking fan in a room full of beautiful women?

A: Invisible.

Q: What do Viking fans miss most about a great party?

A: The invitation.

Q: What's the difference between Cheerios and the Chicago Bears?

A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.

Q: Why can't a Chicago Bear get into his own driveway?

A: Someone painted an end zone on it.

Q: What do you call a sober Viking fan?

A: A liar.

Q: Why is the bears quarterback unable to answer a telephone?

A: He can't find the receiver.

Q: What's the difference between a dead Packer fan lying in the road and a

dead Bears fan lying in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the Packer fan.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Minnesota ?

A: Because God couldn't find three wise men.

Q: What do you call it when a Viking fan wears green and gold?

A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why is it a good idea to bring a Bear fan along to a Packer game?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: How many people does it take to change a light bulb at Soldier Field?

A: Three. One to change it and two to talk about how good the old one was.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb Bear fan, and a smart Bear fan are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

A: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or a smart Bear fan...and the dumb Bear fan thought is was a gum wrapper.