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Old 12-29-2007, 07:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
AJE
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Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to
taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry
nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something
in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that
keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear
into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what
I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises
and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate
one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top
of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here
are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He
is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant.
I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe.

For now...
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If you talk to the animals they will talk to you, If you do not talk to them you will not know them. And what you do not know you will fear. What one fears,one destroys. ~Chief Dan George. (1899 - 1981)
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Old 01-10-2008, 09:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

LOL! I love it!

My cats try to kill me all the time...

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