Maybe I would suggest getting away from the computer and going out more? Just my thought.
Really, friends are everywhere if you look. Try a small Church. There is always something to do when you get involved with a good group at a Church.
Volunteer. So many places need helpers and you meet all kinds of interesting people. Food Shelters, Meals on Wheels, local library all good places to volunteer. Be a mentor at a school and get involved there.
A person just has to make an effort and start a life. Can't be a couch potato or sit at the internet. Friends online are great but if someone is looking for a friend to go places with in the area then you have to go out.
Coffee Shops. Usually the same people stop in at a coffee shop or at a small restaurant to talk at the snack bar. (usually a bunch of older guys) lol But that is always a start too.
Me? I make friends at the schools my kids go to. I started out by asking if I could be a room parent and next thing I know I became very involved and ended up with many great friends.
I actually have a lot of "friends".. but few close friends as I'm really the type to just have one or two at a time.. I always try to put in more into a friendship than I take out.
I think for those looking tho, a local annual Friend Fair, sort of like a job fair, would be a great idea for people to get out in the community and meet others..
Getting involved in any activity is a good place. Find a group of people that you enjoy the same interest or activity. Sports leagues are a good place. Find people that like art or music if you like that. If you like cars, join a car club and go to car shows.
My husband and I talk to lots of people, but we aren't close to most of them or maybe some we just prefer to talk to some of the time. Many friends we've had over the years either move, get divorced, stop hanging out or you just grow apart. Friendships are always changing. I really miss some of these people, but others I don't miss if they became a pain in the neck. Point is talking to lots and lots of people really is a great start. You don't have to be super close to a lot of them to enjoy their company when you see them. Sometimes it turns into a close friendship over time.
I don't really have a best friend at the moment. The girl that was my best friend kind of got the boot 6 years ago. She wasn't worth the trouble anymore, but I do treasure the good times we had. It was time to move on. My husband is currently my best friend, because he's been everything a friend should be and more.
Sometimes you can have a really fun time with people you never met before and might never see again, but take the time to enjoy the moment. It makes for a lasting memory.
And sometimes strangers turn out to be better friends than those you (thought you) knew for years..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Baboon
Sometimes you can have a really fun time with people you never met before and might never see again, but take the time to enjoy the moment. It makes for a lasting memory.
I've known my BFF since we were sophomores in high school. She was one of the first people who talked to me when I moved there and started school. We do lots of things together and share all our secrets. I can tell her anything and know it won't go any further.
I also have several friends that I've met through being involved with things at school when my son was going there. A few have kind of fallen by the wayside since our kids have graduated, but most of them still stay in touch and we still get together once in awhile for dinner or to play cards or board games.
I make friends very easily. People just come up to me and start talking and lots of times, they start telling me about their personal problems even though I hardly know them. I've been told that I'm a good listener so maybe that's why.
Unfortunately, has nearly always rung true for me.. when I've needed help it's always come from places I didn't expect. I can't complain tho.. made some good friends from strangers!
Joining Meetups is a great way to meet new people. In just my area of Kenosha/Racine there are all kinds of different groups. I already belong to two photo groups and just joined a social group and will meet up with them tonight at a local Italian Place to eat dinner.
I can spark up conversations with strangers all day long. It's always been easy for me. As far as making friends, I don't trust people enough or care to spend a lot of time with others enough to friend many. I normally work 12 hr days 5 days a week so weekends get split between family and projects. I even keep my fb friends down to only people I actually care to hear about. A few more because I collect old classmates.
I'm about the same as you.. in fact, I have more people that consider themselves my friend, while I might consider them "just a neighbor" or an "acquaintance".. I have 18 people on my Facebook, all either family or friends of 20 or more years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bps1
I can spark up conversations with strangers all day long. It's always been easy for me. As far as making friends, I don't trust people enough or care to spend a lot of time with others enough to friend many. I normally work 12 hr days 5 days a week so weekends get split between family and projects. I even keep my fb friends down to only people I actually care to hear about. A few more because I collect old classmates.
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....Now, a very great man once said
That some people rob you with a fountain pen
It didn’t take too long to find out
Just what he was talkin’ about
A lot of people don’t have much food on their table
But they got a lot of forks ’n’ knives
And they gotta cut somethin’....
Talkin' New York by Bob Dylan
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by ƟƜş
I mentioned earlier that I was going out to dinner with a group from a new meetup. Thought it may be kinda weird but I was lucky and everyone was really quite nice. Had a good time and if I have the time (and money) to go out with them again I would totally do so.
I mentioned earlier that I was going out to dinner with a group from a new meetup. Thought it may be kinda weird but I was lucky and everyone was really quite nice. Had a good time and if I have the time (and money) to go out with them again I would totally do so.
That's wonderful Patti. Glad you had a good time and everyone was nice!
I go in to a bar and buy a cute guy a drink. I wait a few minutes and then go over to them and say "You look familiar. Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
Oh, wait...that's what the guys say to me! LOL You'd think after all these years they could come up with a new line!
I'm about the same as you.. in fact, I have more people that consider themselves my friend, while I might consider them "just a neighbor" or an "acquaintance"..
Yup, know exactly what you're talking about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyLouWho
How do you make friends?
I go in to a bar and buy a cute guy a drink. I wait a few minutes and then go over to them and say "You look familiar. Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
Oh, wait...that's what the guys say to me! LOL You'd think after all these years they could come up with a new line!
Haha! I bet it gets old hearing the same ice breaker questions over and over again.
I was going to post this under pet peeves, but maybe it goes with this topic better. Last night we had one of those situations again dealing with someone that comes on too strong, overwhelming, whatever you call it. Really hard to explain it.
This guy comes up to us that we never met before and asked if he could buy us a drink, which I thought was odd. Some of the questions he asked seemed to make us uncomfortable, but really don't know why. Maybe it was the way he asked things or the comments he made. Like you felt put on the spot or that if you said the wrong thing he'd get on you about it. I told you it was hard to explain.
I know he said he was trying to make friends, but other people didn't care for him either. It wasn't that he was being rude, that's not the case. Kind of too much of a pest. I really enjoy talking with others even if I don't know them, but this person I just wanted to get away from.
I've had this with people before, but not many people are like this. If someone else can explain this personality type better than me, go ahead. I'd like to hear your take on it.
Maybe it was alcohol and this man felt the need to pester others. lol
I know some people will make you feel uncomfortable on purpose, but no everyone is aware they are doing it. They only are aware of others avoiding them and not knowing why.
We had this same issue with a friend of a friend not long ago. He would call us 5 times a day and bombard us with too much info or get all panicky about things and add to our stress. Now he accused my husband of spreading rumors, which isn't true. This guy was just assuming because a girl is ignoring his calls that it must be because of rumors. Ok, that might be another mental issue all together or just a low self esteem problem.
Maybe we just attract people with mental issues. hmmm?
Not sure how to explain the guy's behavior but he certainly isn't someone I would want for a friend. Sounds like he is to needy of a person and give him a minute he will take up your life kinda person. No thanks.
Maybe needy or maybe a pushy person. I don't know how to explain it. People like that are trying to be your friend, but just turn you off by overwhelming you. I notice that those kind of people like to get in your personal space when standing too close. They spend a lot of time analyzing what you are wearing, what you are drinking or eating, what you are doing, how you are talking or standing. You just get to the point where you want to say "go away."
This guy asked me if I was faithful. What kind of weird question is that? Then he kept saying listen to what your husband is saying (while he was singing along with a song). Nothing he said was really bad in it's own way, but came off as pestering too much. You just know with people like that anything you say or do next will be questioned or analyzed. How about we talk about something not having to do with me?
fat fingers I really intended to post
"By NOT talking Politics or Religion!"
I hate typos especially my own
__________________
ЯØÇЌ w/ http://www.wismusic.com
enjoy online Wisconsin @ http://www.thebubbler.com
Keith ЯØÇЌŞ!!!!!
Ћ€βцßß₤€Я ЯØÇЌŞ
....Now, a very great man once said
That some people rob you with a fountain pen
It didn’t take too long to find out
Just what he was talkin’ about
A lot of people don’t have much food on their table
But they got a lot of forks ’n’ knives
And they gotta cut somethin’....
Talkin' New York by Bob Dylan
"ñƏƏDŽ ñɸȾ ƆɸЯƤɸЯ@ȾƏ ƓЯƏƏƉ "
by ƟƜş
fat fingers I really intended to post
"By NOT talking Politics or Religion!"
I hate typos especially my own
It's okay John. I know what you meant as I'm sure everyone else did too. But, ya, I agree with you. I never talk politics or religion and if someone starts to do so, I quickly change the subject.
Like anything else though, if politics and religion are important to you then you should discuss them with potential friends. Just have to find people that also enjoy such things.
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How Do You Make Friends?
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