How To Bathe Your Cat
(saw this is a local newssheet called the Mornin' Mail)
Following are complete instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:
1> Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2> Add the required amounts of pet shampoo to the toilet bowl and have both lids lifted.
3> Obtain your cat and soothe him as you carry him towards the bathroom.
4> In one deft movement, out the cat in the toilet and swiftly close both lids making sure you stay far away enough from the edge of the toilet to avoid the claws that will surely be attempting to latch onto anything they can find. You may have to stand on the lid to avoid the cat exiting the improvised "cat bath". Your cat will self-agitate and make ample suds.
5> Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This will effectively "powerwash and rinse" your cat.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside, making sure no one is standing in the area between the toilet and the outside.
7. Stand behind the toilet as quickly as you can and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside to dry himself.
Sincerely,
The Dog
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