Funny Feel Good Poetry:

[Hawkins]

Although not a poetic person myself I'm sure that all of you have one that makes you laugh, from somewhere in your memory banks.
Or maybe we actually have some real poets out there with a humorous side.
I remember one from early on that stuck with me, and fits my situation now to a tea.

My Forgetter

My forgetter's getting better but my rememberer is broke,
To you that may seem funny but, to me it is no joke.
For when I'm here" I'm wondering if I really should be there",
And when I think it through, I haven't really got a prayer.

Often times I walk into a room, say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain a zero is my score.
At times I put something away where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from, is generally,me!

When shopping I may see someone, say "Hi" and have a real nice chat.
Then when the person walks away I ask myself "who in the world was that?"
Yes, my forgetter's getting better while my rememberer is broke.
And it's driving me plumb crazy and for me that is no joke!

I have no idea who wrote it, or where I read it, but the person must have seen my future.

[Hawkins]

Who say's he ain't romantical? If this don't choke you up I don't know what will?

Redneck Love Poem

Collards is green, my dogs name is Blue
and I am so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Your hair is like cornsilk
a flappin in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas

You move like a Bass
which excites me in May
you ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're satisfying as okry
jist a fryin in a pan
Yo're as fragrant as snuff
right out of the can.

You have some of your teeth
for which I am proud
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd

On special occasions
when you shave under your arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work
they all want to know
what I did to deserve
a purdy young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there for yore man
to patch up lifes troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a buzzin over head
not like those fire ants
I found in my bed

Cut from the best cloth
like a fine flannel shirt
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gun rack
my life is complete
ain't nuthin I lack.

Yo're complexion is perfection
like the best vinyl sidin,
despite all of yore years
yore age it keeps hidin.

Me'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with an RC cold drink
we go together
like a skunk goes with stink.

Some men they buy chocolates
on ther special day;
They git it at Wal Mart
it's romantic that way.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from the flea market booth.
Diamonds are forever,
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these they won't do.
Cause yo're to special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN MOTOR!!!

[pk]

At times I put something away where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from, is generally,me!

LOL that is sooo me. LOL