how safe is MY SPACE???

[pk]

OK, my daughter is begging me to let her get a myspace of her own. Or visit her friend's 'spaces'. She tells me that myspace has created a much safer environment for kids now and you can allow only your 'friend's' in and not everyone else, you can delete friends from your 'list' and they have a much stronger policy on what is allowed, etc. etc....

Has it been updated and made safer?

My daughter will be 14 at the end of the month and going into high school this Fall, gets good grades, and trustworthy. I know if I tell her not to view or chat with people she did not know I am sure she would follow the rules....still...I worry since I have heard so much about 'myspace' and what can be on there that kids can fall into.

Does anyone have a myspace? Your kids? What do you think of it for 14 year olds?

Thanks for any thoughts on this subject.

pk

[AJE]

Originally Posted by pk

OK, my daughter is begging me to let her get a myspace of her own. Or visit her friend's 'spaces'. She tells me that myspace has created a much safer environment for kids now and you can allow only your 'friend's' in and not everyone else, you can delete friends from your 'list' and they have a much stronger policy on what is allowed, etc. etc....

Has it been updated and made safer?

My daughter will be 14 at the end of the month and going into high school this Fall, gets good grades, and trustworthy. I know if I tell her not to view or chat with people she did not know I am sure she would follow the rules....still...I worry since I have heard so much about 'myspace' and what can be on there that kids can fall into.

Does anyone have a myspace? Your kids? What do you think of it for 14 year olds?

Thanks for any thoughts on this subject.

pk

http://www.myspace.com/ajeeagle_eyes

Tell you what Patti, allow your daughter to have a myspace site but do set the restrictions. The site is getting more secure when it comes to spam and indecently portrayed individuals. As far as I know there is a certain age requirement of 14. If I were you I would sit down with her to assist setting up the account.

1. I would set up an Email which would be for her but you would be able to access (you need an email for the initial setup of the webpage. I'm sure she'll hate the idea of checking up on her but its for the best. she may change the email at a later date.)

2. Chose a name which is secure as well for the site, like maybe a nickname.

3. Lastly, I would set the privacy to “Friends Only” meaning only those people can view her site, due to her age definitely NOT for public viewing.


:arrow: If you like you could add me as one of her buddies and I’ll be more than happy to watch out for any weirdoes, I’m on often so I could be of assistance if ever there is a question.

[j10asen]

I would go further and not allow any information concerning any type of phone number, city,county. NO STREET ADDESS. No I.M. thing if she has one of those her frinds know it already so it does NOT need to be advertised.

I am not so sure I would allow photographs of her.
I would read the page daily to ensure all rules are followed.

Good Luck pk
teenagers are sooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun .
I think they are the main cause for middle age syndrome.

[AJE]

Originally Posted by j10asen

I would go further and not allow any information concerning any type of phone number, city,county. NO STREET ADDESS. No I.M. thing if she has one of those her frinds know it already so it does NOT need to be advertised.

I am not so sure I would allow photographs of her.
I would read the page daily to ensure all rules are followed.

Actually they will only ask for the city and zip. Last name is asked and will be always kept confidential so even your friends don't have access. They do not ask for home addresses. Photos I have them with just me, also many with my animals, family and friends.

[j10asen]

Originally Posted by AJE

Actually they will only ask for the city and zip. Last name is asked and will be always kept confidential so even your friends don't have access. They do not ask for home addresses. Photos I have them with just me, also many with my animals, family and friends.

I was thinking in terms of posting on the page. not in the account information unless that is public.

[MrKhay]

I get alot of dating spam. As a general rule, I refuse their friends requests, unless I feel like playing with them for awhile. Then I delete them. Much of the time, I just go about being "Mark"...sometimes "Jake". I post photos of food, and various other....nothing flashy. I visit friends pages, and leave simple comments, like "Namaste". As for a location, I use the "Between the Lakes" location...generic enough.
All in all, I use it to let folks know I'm still maintaining a pulse.
I have my "MySpace" addy posted on my theBubbler profile.

[AlumniClub]

This article has some good advice:

msnbc.msn.com/id/11065951/site/newsweek/

A few more tips from my experience:

- I don't list the real city I live in, I use "Milwaukee." It's the closest large metro to me. People don't need to know where I really live.

- As AJE said, make sure you can access the email account your daughter uses on MySpace. Get her MySpace account login too. A lot of MySpace discussion is done with MySpace's internal messaging system, not email. You want to be able to check these.

- Make her profile friends only.

- Don't post photos that identify her school or hometown, i.e. wearing a school sweatshirt.

[AJE]

Myspace found 29,000 sex offenders on its site in a 4-month timeframe. I am really shocked at this! I know a lot of people who use myspace just to connect with their friends myself included, guess I'm a little too trusting. Parents watch your children and for young adults like myself I don't say where I live just for my own safety...only those closest and gained my trust know of such details.

http://news.findlaw.com/ap/p/56/07-2...8d0d640ed.html

[j10asen]

Originally Posted by AJE

Myspace found 29,000 sex offenders on its site in a 4-month timeframe.

i-yai-yaiii

that is scarry!!!!!!

[pk]

Myspace found 29,000 sex offenders on its site in a 4-month timeframe.

I still have held off saying ok to my 14 year old daughter even though I trust she will follow rules and let me watch everything at all times. Now this comment really makes me wonder how safe can we really be?

:?

[ONEZ48]

I too have a myspace page and to tell you the truth it doesnt matter what site you create a page on, there will always be those unwanted emails, friend requests and so on. Yes there are settings you set to try to eliminate the bullsh*t, but it will be there anyway.
I guess if you help her set those settings and monitor her time on line...this may help your feelings on the whole situation and as long as your daughter knows to tell you about any weird things (I mean anything weird) you can contact your local police with screen names that may be in violation of the websites policies. My daughter experienced this with a friend years ago and the police did get involved. I am not sure of the outcome but I am sure it was not good for the perp!

[keith]

I'm impressed by all the sharing of advice.

Great community sharing.

Some good books on the subject of MySpace in particular at the public library.

Great to see the parental oversight.

Regards,
Keith

[pk]

Some good books on the subject of MySpace in particular at the public library.

Thank you to everyone that has left comments on this subject. Not only do I feel this is important in helping to decide for my daughter..but I'm sure it's helpful for others to read this as well. I plan on having my daughter read this all soon.

Also, the suggestion to go to the public library is great. We go there all the time. In fact we just went there a few days ago and plan to go next week. So I will be sure to see what is there on this subject.

thanks
pk

[CarolsCritterCare]

MySpace defamation case resolved

Teen posted fake profile of police officer on Internet
August 22, 2007

WAUKESHA - A 19-year-old New Berlin man who posted fake profiles of a high school police officer on the Internet will avoid a criminal conviction if he stays out of trouble for the next year.
advertisement

Joshua Bachert will instead pay a fine only for a noncriminal citation if he follows the conditions of a deferred prosecution agreement for one year.

Bachert was charged with defamation after it was discovered he was behind the fake MySpace.com profiles that were posted regarding a police officer at New Berlin West High School for the last three months of 2006. A criminal complaint said the fake profile of the officer contained phrases like, "I enjoy being with teens, ... hitting on underage girls, harassing innocent students, child porn ... ."

http://www.gmtoday.com/news/local_st...8222007_04.asp

[KateOYM]

I don't know if anyone mentioned this and I just missed it...

but you can not only make your profile private, but you can set up a privacy setting that requires friends to enter your last name or email address to help "weed out the weirdos"

The new trend seems to be posting surveys - just be careful with the information. There's a lot that can be learned from someone just being bored and filling in questions.

I have a myspace account which I use primarily to keep in touch with friends, and it was very helpful when I was dating my marine when he was in Iraq and Kuwait. I have mine set to private - if someone I don't know wants to see my page and my business they should get something better to do. I now use it to do a lot of promoting for the bar I work at - and so far everything's been fine.

Also tell her to watch out for those "I just got a free coach purse" and things like that - there's lots of "phishing" going on. Regularly changing the password is a good idea.

[AJE]

:roll: I set my profile to private when I disclose pictures of like my vacation or if the profile is something I feel necessary, usually mine is for public when it’s a quick but vague layout.

That last name or email choice is stupid simply because general public can still access your site just can't get a friendship without the information.
8)

[KateOYM]

[quote="AJEThat last name or email choice is stupid simply because general public can still access your site just can't get a friendship without the information.
8)[/quote]

If your profile is set to Private, the only thing that they can see is your Name (as you wish it to appear), Your Headline (What you want it to say), Your Location (What you wish to put, and Your Age (If you wish to disclose)

They do not have access to your site unless they have your friendship. Only when they have your friendship can they view your site and your photos. To gain this friendship with the last name or email function, this ensures that only people you want seeing your profile may as you still have the option to deny friend requests.

I think with the right precautions a myspace account is just fine. As long as you're not mindless about it there's nothing wrong with it.

[AJE]

Neenah student caught violating school code in photo posted on Facebook

Girl was holding beer in picture
NEENAH, WISCONSIN


Photographs and comments posted on social networking Web sites like Facebook or MySpace that show inappropriate or unlawful conduct are fair game for review by school administrators.


Appleton Post-Crescent: Your Fox Cities News Source - Neenah student caught violating school code in photo posted on Facebook

[CarolsCritterCare]

What were they thinking put a pic like that on myspace. DUH......... the proof is in the picture and now your busted. No arguing there. What do they say? Picture is worth a thousand words

[Kelly68]

I have three kids.....one that will be 20 next week, one that is 17 and a half and one that will be 16 this Dec. They all have a MySpace page and a Facebook page. I trust my kids 100% and they know if I found anything remotely suspicious their computer would be taken away in a heartbeat.....not questions asked. Random checks so they don't know when I will be looking and caught a few things I didn't like, but they were discussed and punishment was rendered...then they got it back.

[pk]

Just an update...my daughter never did get the myspace not because I did not trust her...that wasn't the problem she would be very trustworthy..I just did not trust what she could accidently fall into or what could perhaps find it's way to her.

I know it can be quite safe and has many features that helps make it safe but we talked about it and decided it really isn't that important to have it so why bother.

Maybe when she is older we will re think it.

But I have been reading all the posts on this subject and feel like I certainly know a lot more on the subject of my space now. thanks!

pk

[AJE]

Parents Safety: Tips on Keeping Kids Safe on MySpace

There are a lot of teens who are using MySpace. Individuals over the age of 14 are qualified to use MySpace so as a reaction there are many teenagers who are users of the online MySpace community. These young users may appreciate the convenience to express their mastery, express their animosity, meet new friends or stay in touch with their old go partners but they should also be aware that there is the possible for danger on any Internet community. Making kids alert of this is helpful but there is also a certain degree of parental involvement which is necessary to keep kids safe when they are online.

Enforcing Household Internet Rules

Kids who use MySpace, or the Internet in common, should be restricted to a few household rules regarding Internet usage. Putting these rules in place can be very useful in reducing the potential for danger. Some of the common Internet rules parents might consider are:

* Do not post full name and address online or even school locality. This will help to avoid stalking which could become a complication if online predators know where your child lives or go to school.
* check Internet usage to specific hours during the day. This can prevent overuse of the Internet.
* Do not agree to meet online friends in person without consent. Ideally the parents should also come along their children on these meetings and should ensure the meetings take place in a well lit, public locality such as a coffee shop as opposed to a secluded spot such as an individuals household.
* Do not counter to threats or harassment. Kids should be taught to disdain this type of behavior and report these instances to parents or the Internet service provider instead of responding to the threats. Responding to threats or harassing messages can increase a potentially damaging situation.
* Internet usage should be confined to high traffic locations in the house. For example kids should only be authorized to use the Internet in computers which are in locations such as the family room or kitchen as opposed to allowing kids Internet access in their bedrooms.

Originally Posted by pk

Just an update...my daughter never did get the myspace not because I did not trust her...that wasn't the problem she would be very trustworthy..I just did not trust what she could accidently fall into or what could perhaps find it's way to her.

I know it can be quite safe and has many features that helps make it safe but we talked about it and decided it really isn't that important to have it so why bother.

Maybe when she is older we will re think it.

But I have been reading all the posts on this subject and feel like I certainly know a lot more on the subject of my space now. thanks!

pk

Kids who are determined will find a way Pk, they'll have access from friends, library, Internet-Cafe and possibly from their job site. Most schools the students can't access the online web community.

In the face of places like MySpace, here's how to keep kids safe online - US News and World Report

[Latina]

Originally Posted by pk

Just an update...my daughter never did get the myspace not because I did not trust her...that wasn't the problem she would be very trustworthy..I just did not trust what she could accidently fall into or what could perhaps find it's way to her.

I know it can be quite safe and has many features that helps make it safe but we talked about it and decided it really isn't that important to have it so why bother.

Maybe when she is older we will re think it.

But I have been reading all the posts on this subject and feel like I certainly know a lot more on the subject of my space now. thanks!

pk

Just curious, has your daughter been allowed a myspace in the last year since this post?

I have had a myspace page for years (facebook as well, but that site bores me), my children have had one as long as i have. I use to have their passwords, heck i probably still do. I watched them for a while, they were pretty trustworthy & eventually (as new features became available) i kept their page private & made it so that you needed a last name or email for them in order to even veiw their pages. Of course they are much older now & i stopped keeping track of that long ago.