pk, as keith mentioned in the suggestion forum, i have days like that quite often. 4 kids, 2 dogs, small kitchen. Living in your house has to be a comedy everyday! Have any footage to share?...lol
Living in my house a comedy everyday?...maybe a nightmare! lol (just kidding, I think). :lol:
4 kids, 2 grandkids, 2 dogs, 1 cat, (the dogs love to torment the cat), a tank of fish, small kitchen...lots of great stories over the years.
Just pick the subject and I'm sure I have something to add if you are talking about kid diasters, dog issues, or just life! lol
My mom use to tell me she was writing a book on my life and every time I visit I would offer her new material for another chapter! LOL I miss my mom, she kept me sane.
Just one fast story...think about how it feels to walk in the dark and hit something kinda slimey and slippery on the floor. Well our boxer somehow found a way into our refrigerator, (maybe a wonder child left the door open a crack)? But she discovered once she was in there a nice large ham. She tore that piece of dog treat out of there and chewed it up leaving a large portion on the floor just for me to hit into and slip on! Wonderful! :roll:
Your turn greenbean..I'm sure you have quite a few you can add to this.
oh..sorry..to keep with the theme of the forum here, (household tips etc.), my tip for the day? Never leave your refrigerator door open a crack with a boxer running around at night. Or maybe the tip could be, don't buy ham.
pk
Ok pk...how about when you get up at 2 in the morning to get ready for work....of course cant turn on the hallway light or else the dogs will go nucking futs and wake up the entire city, only to find yourself heading towards the stairs in darkness and putting that first foot down....rolling your ankle of course and tumbling down the entire length of the steps...which in my house i believe there are 20 of them. Trying to grab onto ANYTHING is impossible and you try to quiet the fall but no doing such a feat. Now...meanwhile, the dogs think the house is under attack by terrorists, the kids are screaming at the dogs for barking, im yelling at the dogs for leaving the bone so well placed, my ankle is swollen, lights turn on all over the house, wife is bent out of shape cuz dogs are barking, im a tangled mess at the bottom of the steps, wife says "what happened?", im late for work, kids are crabby due to lack of sleep, wife is mad..again due to lack of sleep, and the dogs?.....they fell asleep after the barking session. Meanwhile i tried to heal quickly to return to work to make a paycheck so i could repair the railing which i ripped off trying to break my fall, purchase a gate to block the dogs from the upstairs, repair the scuffed up walls from the fall, and made sure when i go to bed there isnt anything in way of my dark walk to get to work.......theyre my dogs...but i love them to death, which for them could be soon if this ever happens to me again. :lol:
Above postings refer to the use of knives to seperate burgers and the such. Here is another handy tip you all may want to take in:
Miracle Blade knives are EXTREMELY SHARP!
NEVER use these knives for making any of the above noted attempts to seperate ANYTHING! These knives are everything plus more that you see on t.v.
Its a miracle they dont sell a steel mesh for your body parts with these sets! I just BARELY touched my finger one day when cutting taters only to find a red pool in the kettle. These cut so fast and so deep you DO NOT even feel it.
Tip of this story: NEVER let a child get ahold of these knives! For us adults: Please use extreme caution if you own these. They are worth every penny but always keep focused when using these.
How about in the middle of the night, for you pet owners...mainly cats, can hear them in the blackest of nights, horking up "something" but are too late to find out exactly where they were? Then when you do get up...yup, SQUISH! 8O Dont really have a tip for this one though so if you do...please post it.
:lol: :lol: :lol: OK, this is not good to sit here laughing so much that the dogs are looking at me like I'm crazy!!
All I can suggest greenbean is to either;
A. lock the cat up in the basement at night. This is providing you don't mind listening to which ever child loves to have the cat sleep with him/her crying that you are mean to the cat. And the cat meowing so loud that the neighborhood alley cats all come over and yell with her outside your door, and then have the cat tear up the basement door trying to dig herself out!
or
B. Use a flashlight. A very large flashlight wherever you go at night time in your house..and may I suggest...bedroom slippers?? LOL LOL LOL
without actually scanning and printing a copy of my floor plan ill do my best to describe the flashlight incident.
ONCE i thought to myself as pk stated...a flashlight to help lighten the way to my safety and without a trip to the emergency room at 2:30 in the morning. Not owning a cat i thought...before i turned on the flashlight, are dogs dumb enough to actually chase a light beam from a flashlight????...NAHHHHHH...so i proceeded along doing my morning rituals and started to make my way downstairs to get my boots on and the rest of my work battlegear. Well...the light reflects off the wall down the hallway causing it to arc down the steps. The whole time im like waiting for the 2nd coming of christ ( the dog) to come up and chase the light. All is going well until i start my way down the steps. I peek down and see both dogs in a comatose sleep. ahhhhhh..this is working!!! Well on my second step down the step decides to creek. Like a bomb awakening jolt to BOTH dogs back side they both freak out and stand ready to kill the first thing down the steps...which was me. Now they cant see a face yet but just legs coming down. So the einstien i am im like...shhhhh, quiet..its me dummy! Well i had never had to whisper to them before so they continue their attack mode. I keep going down the steps slowly as normal when all of a sudden the black lab cowards and runs around the corner...i thought...good boy!...WRONG! He was plotting his strategy to mame me as i turned the corner. The other dog decides its play time and jumps..or attempts.. over the coffee table with misc items on it. Well..her measurements were off just a tad...about 8 inches off. Glass and other implements of injury are now broken on the floor which i have to avoid as i havent made it to my boots yet. Lets not forget..like i did...the 120 pound lab around the corner. I attempt to pick up as much debris as possible without cutting my hands and go to throw it in the trash in the kitchen..which is around the above mentioned corner where the beast from hell is waiting and stalking me. More concerned about being slashed and turning the living room into a crime scene of blood and gore i forgot about the lab. I approach the corner to find the lab in mid flight coming staright at me..hands full of glass and such. First reaction is to what...guard the jewels. With this being said and done...the glass goes everywhere...the other dog decides what the hell..its playtime and attacks the lab..who is attacking me. Glass, dogs flying around and shards now being lodged into my bootless feet i begin to say a few select words while trying not to scream. Fianlly the light gets turned on and both dogs look at me with that look "oh...hello there..its only you" and continue to slowly walk off and sleep on the couches. Bleeding and scratched from the war of fur and glass i thought to myself...you stupid dogs! Somehow i managed NOT to wake anyone else up in the house and they slept the night thru...i on the other hand managed to get the glass fragments out of my foot and bandaged up and got to work. AFTER i punch in and start to the floor i noticed that it wasnt my day to work! Somehow i got my days mixed up due to an irregular work schedule and drove an hour to work when i didnt have to! That made my day!!!
TIP:
Make sure on april fools week you check your computers calendar and times as the kids decided to fool me and made me think my days were mixed up. They know i always check mine to make sure of the day where thats where i write out the checks and everything. Kids are getting to be like the dogs...love them to death but stunts like those will shorten their lives. lol
I forgave them but also let them know i never forget
How about in the middle of the night, for you pet owners...mainly cats, can hear them in the blackest of nights, horking up "something" but are too late to find out exactly where they were? Then when you do get up...yup, SQUISH! 8O Dont really have a tip for this one though so if you do...please post it.
Been there - done that and still find vomit mines - YUCK
How about in the middle of the night, for you pet owners...mainly cats, can hear them in the blackest of nights, horking up "something" but are too late to find out exactly where they were? Then when you do get up...yup, SQUISH! 8O Dont really have a tip for this one though so if you do...please post it.
Been there - done that and still find vomit mines - YUCK
Wear slippers with flashights duct taped to the toes. We can them toe lights
One morning semi-awake I heard our golden lapping up some water.. you would have thought she just crossed the sahara dessert.. anyway she comes in the the bedroom and hops up on the bed to wake us up because she is hungry ,well she is standing over me when she belches...let's say it was not a dry belch ops: and up until that point my head was dry :roll:
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ops: and up until that point my head was dry :roll:
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