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[Bukmastr]

Another Deerless Day in the Swamp
By Dan Infalt
I went to a very remote area of a swamp, where I scouted last winter, hoping to murder the buck that had left the tell tale signs that this was his bedroom. I took my gung ho son, "Rat Slayer" along just cause I felt I have not yet been punished enough during this life.

Anywho, we find that the briars, thorns and vines have made the area way too difficult for me to quietly sneak my 14 year old in there without alerting the world. So while I was wiping all the blood off of my arms from the briars and pulling the wasp stinger out from between my two fingers, I noticed that the creek running into the swamp was now just a dried up flat of black dirt...and its path went right past the tree I was planning on setting up in....Alright!!! We just walk right up the dry creek bed and straight up the tree. "Dan" I told myself, "You are a SUPER GENIUS"

Anywho, for some reason that dried up crispy type of quicksand has a delayed reaction and somehow knows when you are directly in the middle of the river bed. I started to panic as I felt the boys go under, but I was able to lie forward and spread out my upper body to keep from going down like the titanic. My face was being pressed into the muck by the weight of my treestand, climbing sticks and pack on my back. It was just then that I realized, "Hey, I'm not in trouble here!! My son the Rat Slayer is on shore and can go for help. But that was a short dream as I watched him run over to see if he could help. Somehow, someway, we crawled and pulled our way out of that hell.

It took Rat Slayer almost 20 minutes just to get his right boot back. We laid in the briars staring up at the sky in the sweat and the blood and the smelliest muck you have ever seen, which was now completely covering both our bodies. I realized, "Hey, somehow we crawled to safety, and ended up right under our tree. What luck!!!"

No, not luck, this is a mission from God, He would bring us a buck tonight. Heck, we still had almost 15 minutes of shooting light left! I scraped as much mud off as I could and quickly put up two stands. I was even able to make a hole in the ball of mud that I was sure was my camera, big enough to film thru. Now it was just sit and wait.

Suddenly at the edge of darkness we hear a big lone deer rise out of a bed 25 yards into the thick crap..... And head the other way.

It didn't take long for darkness to fall onto the swamp. This time we chose the briars and thorns and occasional wasp nest over the nice easy dry river bed. By the time we made it to the truck we both were covered in mud head to toe with bright red blood oozing out all over the place. And guess what.... The Sheriff was waiting for us...

"You boy'z are coming out of the woods a bit late, ain't ya?"

I swear, I didn't know "Bite me" could get you a disorderly ticket? Any who, when he got his spotlight on us he screamed, "GOOD GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU TWO!!!!!"

After I talked him out of the ambulance call he was apologetic and said he wouldn't bother us anymore. Anywho.... Just another deerless day in the swamp!