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I'm sorry for your losses.
Waukesha county is big enough that you can live here and not run into people you know, even when you want to (let alone relatives you want to avoid). I mean, my brother works the opposite shift from me just a couple blocks away from where I work, and I hardly ever see him even though I want to! If you want to visit the area to get to know it better, odds are pretty good that you can choose whether or not to see the relatives from the other side of the split.
I won't presume to know the situation or give advice, but I think alot of families rupture for all kinds of reasons, mostly stemming from the fact that we don't get to pick our relatives like we do our friends. It's much harder to deal with a family member who is different or does something you think is wrong, than to deal with random people around you. A member of my family died at the beginning of this year and I was the one who wouldn't speak to him. The reason for it is unimportant, though I don't know that I could have done anything differently. But now I never can. I will never be able to rebuild that connection. If you think it possible, it's worth making things right with your generation of the family, even if the generation responsible for the original split won't or has all passed on.
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I have a unique relationship with Lady Luck. She smiles on me often. Usually it's with derision.
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