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yea, a flashlight would help...wouldnt it?
WRONG! tried that approach ...once
without actually scanning and printing a copy of my floor plan ill do my best to describe the flashlight incident.
ONCE i thought to myself as pk stated...a flashlight to help lighten the way to my safety and without a trip to the emergency room at 2:30 in the morning. Not owning a cat i thought...before i turned on the flashlight, are dogs dumb enough to actually chase a light beam from a flashlight????...NAHHHHHH...so i proceeded along doing my morning rituals and started to make my way downstairs to get my boots on and the rest of my work battlegear. Well...the light reflects off the wall down the hallway causing it to arc down the steps. The whole time im like waiting for the 2nd coming of christ ( the dog) to come up and chase the light. All is going well until i start my way down the steps. I peek down and see both dogs in a comatose sleep. ahhhhhh..this is working!!! Well on my second step down the step decides to creek. Like a bomb awakening jolt to BOTH dogs back side they both freak out and stand ready to kill the first thing down the steps...which was me. Now they cant see a face yet but just legs coming down. So the einstien i am im like...shhhhh, quiet..its me dummy! Well i had never had to whisper to them before so they continue their attack mode. I keep going down the steps slowly as normal when all of a sudden the black lab cowards and runs around the corner...i thought...good boy!...WRONG! He was plotting his strategy to mame me as i turned the corner. The other dog decides its play time and jumps..or attempts.. over the coffee table with misc items on it. Well..her measurements were off just a tad...about 8 inches off. Glass and other implements of injury are now broken on the floor which i have to avoid as i havent made it to my boots yet. Lets not forget..like i did...the 120 pound lab around the corner. I attempt to pick up as much debris as possible without cutting my hands and go to throw it in the trash in the kitchen..which is around the above mentioned corner where the beast from hell is waiting and stalking me. More concerned about being slashed and turning the living room into a crime scene of blood and gore i forgot about the lab. I approach the corner to find the lab in mid flight coming staright at me..hands full of glass and such. First reaction is to what...guard the jewels. With this being said and done...the glass goes everywhere...the other dog decides what the hell..its playtime and attacks the lab..who is attacking me. Glass, dogs flying around and shards now being lodged into my bootless feet i begin to say a few select words while trying not to scream. Fianlly the light gets turned on and both dogs look at me with that look "oh...hello there..its only you" and continue to slowly walk off and sleep on the couches. Bleeding and scratched from the war of fur and glass i thought to myself...you stupid dogs! Somehow i managed NOT to wake anyone else up in the house and they slept the night thru...i on the other hand managed to get the glass fragments out of my foot and bandaged up and got to work. AFTER i punch in and start to the floor i noticed that it wasnt my day to work! Somehow i got my days mixed up due to an irregular work schedule and drove an hour to work when i didnt have to! That made my day!!!
TIP:
Make sure on april fools week you check your computers calendar and times as the kids decided to fool me and made me think my days were mixed up. They know i always check mine to make sure of the day where thats where i write out the checks and everything. Kids are getting to be like the dogs...love them to death but stunts like those will shorten their lives. lol
I forgave them but also let them know i never forget
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